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Elbow: Torrid In Context

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Torrid In Context

A good friend of mine called me the other day and it had been awhile since I had heard from him. I asked him what he was up to and he said that he had just had a torrid affair with a guy for four days. Now mind you, this friend is a little on the loco side and he tends to be dramatic and to flare things up a bit. He told me the details and mentioned that the guy he was hooking up with wouldn’t tell him his last name but that on the way to the airport he looked at his ticket and later googled the guy and found out that he is some pastor from a huge Christian congregation. So he calls me back to tell me that I can’t mention this to anyone because the guy is really freaked out now.

So there are different ways we can portray ourselves. I for one can only give so much information about myself through this blog without going overboard and loosing the focus of why I have this blog in the first place. I’m struggling now with how to be honest and how to share what I need to share and most importantly I want to be an advocate for men and women who are struggling with their sexuality and who are searching for safe ways to explore their sexuality.

I’m so many things that my readers haven’t seen. I’m probably a lot quieter than people would expect. I’m probably a lot younger than most people would assume I look and I am a lot happier than my blog reflects.

For so long I used this blog to vent frustrations and to outsource my angst and anxiety about my marriage and about my confusions. Now I am looking forward to a life without the same relationship struggles and anxiety provoking situations because I’ve done and taken the steps necessary in order for myself to progress away from that type of learning and to move into a deeper more enlightened way to live.

I choose happiness, I choose honesty, I choose life, I choose heart, I choose spirituality, I choose embracing, I choose zeal, and I choose me.

I may have some road blocks along the way, but as this blog progresses I want to share my stories, not for the narration of my life, but for a way to parallel the knowledge that you can be gay and you can be spiritual and love and be loved by God all in the same breath. I want people who read this to perhaps have a desire to focus more on the healing power of relationships and the permission to love regardless of gender roles or societal norms.

My Heavenly Father looks on the heart and my heart is full and it is grateful and it is whole.

3 Comments:

Blogger playasinmar said...

I like the new profile pic.

9:22 AM  
Blogger J G-W said...

I like the new profile pic too.

My Heavenly Father looks on the heart and my heart is full and it is grateful and it is whole.

Amen.

Striving for honesty and wholeness. That's the name of the game. It's the only way to achieve the joy that is the purpose of our creation.

5:43 AM  
Blogger Jake said...

It's really hard to express every aspect of your personality through a blog. I sometimes feel that people might think I'm only what my blog shows. And that can be frustrating because we are all more than what we type. The way I figure it as long as what I type is truly me (even if it's only bits and pieces of me) then it's good enough.

2:17 PM  

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