E L B O W
Elbow: Separating

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Separating

My feelings can best be described by the photo to your left. The doctors appointments, the surgery, the recovery etc... has all been exhausting. I emotionally have given up, on my marriage, and on the gospel. I don't care if it's true or not. I don't care if I love my wife.
I'm flying to Canada to stay with my parents over the summer. My doctors have given me the go ahead to fly. My fight leaves in a couple of days. I quit my job because of my spinal cord fiasco, and since I'm off school till' September I thought it would be a good time to get away.
My wife isn't coming with me. We're separating. No definitive answer about divorce, but where separated as of a couple of days ago. Neither of us are happy about it. I am more drained than anything. I've been scared to death that I'm going to die, that I'm not going to walk again. I've been exhausted spiritually by trying to find meaning in prayer. I'm feeling a lot of desire to get away, and while my parents house isn't the best place to do that, I have no where else to go. But if there's anything that I feel might be beneficial, it's getting away from NY and from my wife, and just getting in touch with what my heart is trying to tell me.

11 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Good luck to you in your recovery(emotional and physical). I'll be thinking of you for what it's worth.

4:39 PM  
Blogger -L- said...

Wow. What did the spinal cord problem end up being? I'm sorry to hear that your health has been such a confounder here. We'll be praying for you too.

8:17 PM  
Blogger playasinmar said...

I'm praying for you. I think we all are.

9:38 PM  
Blogger Waterfalls said...

You will be in my prayers. Please keep in touch.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Gay LDS Actor said...

My prayers are with you. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Maybe all of this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Beck said...

I miss you already! :(

9:27 AM  
Blogger Mr. Fob said...

Take care, Elbow.

4:53 PM  
Blogger santorio said...

keep in touch

1:11 PM  
Blogger MoHoHawaii said...

How are you doing now? It's been a few weeks since this last post.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Loyalist (with defects) said...

elbow, i miss you already. i hope you are ok.

3:08 PM  
Blogger gentlefriend said...

I sincerely believe that "all things work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28) Please hang on to prayer. Please stop beating up on yourself and be open to the sweet comfort of the Spirit.

Separation is never a clean cut. It is always a tear and leaves you vulnerable to self-critical voices. You don't have to listen to them! Right now you need to block them out and get some space to sort out your relationship with your Father in Heaven. Achieve that and everything else will fall into place, and the wounds will heal.

My prayers also are with you.

2:26 PM  

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