A Path, A Choice
I feel something lasting and eternal when I am with my wife. I feel learning and I see peace. I am challenged by the fact that I will always be attracted to men, but at the same time I am blessed by the feelings of my heat that have made me see the greater perspective of what this life is really about.
I am lucky enough to be very attracted to my wife, to feel sexual toward her, and to desire to be with her. But above and beyond that, the emotional connection that we share will and can never be matched by anyone else.
I'm thinking about it now, and I look back at what I have been feeling and what I went through to get to this comforting place. Needless to say there was a lot of conflict and angst. I was overwhelmed sometimes at the emotions that were inside me, but I chose something that is important, and the peace came. It's no formula, but it worked as simple as that, even though it really wasn't as simple as that. It was hard. I guess it will still be hard.
Maybe the Lord is giving me a break from all the turmoil. He is looking after me and sees that I need to experience peace right now.
Who knows what trials may come my way. I am expecting life to be just as rocky as it has been up to this point. Only now, I have a path that feels right and good. We'll see if the path continues to be what it appears.
One step at a time.
I am lucky enough to be very attracted to my wife, to feel sexual toward her, and to desire to be with her. But above and beyond that, the emotional connection that we share will and can never be matched by anyone else.
I'm thinking about it now, and I look back at what I have been feeling and what I went through to get to this comforting place. Needless to say there was a lot of conflict and angst. I was overwhelmed sometimes at the emotions that were inside me, but I chose something that is important, and the peace came. It's no formula, but it worked as simple as that, even though it really wasn't as simple as that. It was hard. I guess it will still be hard.
Maybe the Lord is giving me a break from all the turmoil. He is looking after me and sees that I need to experience peace right now.
Who knows what trials may come my way. I am expecting life to be just as rocky as it has been up to this point. Only now, I have a path that feels right and good. We'll see if the path continues to be what it appears.
One step at a time.
posted by elbow at 7:57 AM
7 Comments:
that blog was amazing, thanks for sharing elbow.
Also, thank you for all the encouragement it means a lot to me
I'm very happy you appear to be at a place of respite on your path. Your post is very refreshing considering the many challenges you've faced and explained here in the past.
Congratulations, and thank you.
The occasional peace can be such a relief. I agree with so much that you say. Making the choice doesn't always lessen the desire--but it does lend direction. I hope your destination brings continued peace and, ultimately, joy.
I add my two cents to say that I'm pleased for you and the peace you've found in your current acceptance of "choosing something important".
I hope it lasts. I pray for you and the tranquility you are feeling at this recent period. I've also chosen the "better part" my whole life, and peace has been abundant, but there are constant reminders of turmoil because of my choice - which robs me of truly arriving at a place of peace.
How can there really be peace in THIS life while the battle rages inside? Obviously "choosing something important" even bigger than ourselves helps.
I am so happy for you! It took me a long time to come to the same peace. You will have tuff times; God said there would be oposition. I struggle from time-to-time, but fortunately, we all have people like you to lean on! I will be here for you to lean on if you need me.
Thanks agian,
cmick1
Hey Elbow! how've you been lately?
Wow...your blog was so important to me. I am at that crossroad now. I would welcome a remarkable woman in my life..if it would only happen. Sigh. It's not that men do not satisfy me, I just don't want to all of sudden realize that I am not happy if I join with a woman. I guess if she ultimately a wonderful friend, that I will be happy. I don't know...these aren't all of my thoughts. It is just REFRESHING and VALIDATING to hear someone else say what I am feeling.
Enrique
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