A Thank You For Scot And His Inspiring Family
Tonight I had the amazing privilege of having dinner with Scot and his family. I can't tell you how fun it was. I felt so good just sitting with him and his partner and two of the most charming kids I've ever seen. Their life is a blessing, and I just want to publicly thank him for letting me see a glimpse into what I want my life to be like.
And I realize now that I'm free to think and feel on my own, without any pressure of unnecessary guilt, that I can have the life that I've always wanted. I want a family, I want kids, and I want a husband. I use to feel like getting a divorce from my wife was giving up a family, but now I see that I'm gaining my life. I'm able to freely act and think the way that makes me thrive and that allows me breathe with exceptional vibrancy. I don't want to live a life in the Church that makes me feel guilty for feeling love. I want to love a man, I want a man to love me, and I don't want to pretend any more that I'm a straight man and that I'm ok with the Church discriminating against homosexual couples.
I'm looking for peace. And I feel like everyday I'm getting a step closer. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, but I don't think that Jesus would kick out a homosexual couple who practice monogamy and who have dedicated their lives and existence to their children and to the concept of a loving family. Jesus would accept them with open arms. So why won't the church?
There's a lot of things I have to do in order to get my life on the right track, but I feel action and momentum. It's been a long time coming. I've felt a lot of guilt and a lot of pain. I've felt trapped and I've felt overwhelmed with feelings of disgust for myself. But I'm done feeling that way. I'm ready to take risk after risk for the opportunity to live life to its fullest, and to look back at my life when it's over and feel like I did everything I wanted, and that I did everything I needed to do to build a life that I can be proud of.