Elbow: San Fran

Friday, August 17, 2007

San Fran

I just got back from San Francisco and it was a pretty good trip. I have a lot to write about and I might have to go through my excursion in segments as to give the full breadth of my experience.

I stayed with an amazing girl when I was up in S.F. She and I had the same internship in New York and for a year we kept each other entertained while also learning a whole lot about our field and about each other. I never came out to her as a gay married man, but she and I were close enough that she had an idea of what was going on with me, so when I called her a couple of months ago to fill her in on what was going on she was really proud of me. She loves my wife as well, and I think that added to the excitement. I mean if you love someone and care about them and their spouse, why wouldn't you be overjoyed that they have decided to set each other free from trying to fit into an uncomfortable and pointless mold? Her support meant so much to me and being as though she is the most empathic person I have EVER met, it helped to be around her and to talk about all of the huge changes that are going on in my life.

Being as though this was my first time in San Francisco, I was game for anything and for better or for worse, she lived on Castro street and if any of you know about S.F. you might be familiar with the fact that the Castro District is where all the gay clubs, gay bars, gay shops, gay restaurants, gay karaoke bars, gay movie theaters, gay houses, gay dogs, gay subway entrances, gay flags (lots and lots of gay flags) and actual gay...people. The first night there was walked down her street to a gay bar and danced our freakin' heads off. It was so much fun. She and I were and still are obsessed with the Rihanna Umbrella song that is popular right now, and when they played that song on the dance floor the two of us went crazy. I started dancing with a guy there who asked me where I was from and I told him Utah and he pointed to his friend and told me that his friend was from Utah as well. So I start talking to his friend and come to find out of course he is Mormon, of course he served a mission and the two of us just laughed at the situation. Here we are dancing with our sweaty bodies moving together on the dance floor in a gay bar in San Francisco and one of the first two people that I talk to there is a gay Mormon like myself. They are everywhere!

The next couple of days I saw a whole bunch of stuff, Embarcadero Center, Lombard Street, Ghiradelli, Dolores Park, and that cool park that was featured in the opening credits of Full House. S.F. is amazingly beautiful. Oddly enough, I've never seen so many homeless people in my life. It was a little annoying. I mean I feel compassion when there is like one or two, but when there are like 45 transients standing around asking for money, I feel a little overwhelmed. But the city was cool and I was feeling it. Everyone there was so nice. It was a nice city. Actually, now that I think about it, the guys in the club were really nice to me, but it seemed like everytime I told them that I wasn't living in the city, they were kind of dissapointed and didn't want to really engage anymore, which I thought was a little odd considering that if they wanted to hook up wouldn't someone from out of town be a good option? But I probably attracted guys that weren't the one night stand guys, which sterotypically I thought would be the case. Not that I wanted to hook up, but I was interested in how the dynamics of the club/bar scene was. Does that make sense?

I just had a really good time and there's actually a lot more to tell, but I've got to go so I'm gonna wait and tell what happened on the rest of my trip hopefully tomorrow.


Blogger playasinmar said...

I wonder if it was this guy.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Elbow said...

No, he wasn't the guy at the club. But I did meet gaymormon "James" for lunch and that entry will be the next one I write.

5:42 PM  
Blogger J G-W said...

My partner Göran and I have made the pilgrimage to the gay mecca on the Pacific too. It is a beautiful city, and we have a number of friends who have migrated there. But we are just simple mid-westerners, not quite ready for so much excitement.

7:05 PM  
Blogger iwonder said...

Hmmm, sounds like fun.

1:21 AM  
Blogger Abelard Enigma said...

seemed like everytime I told them that I wasn't living in the city, they were kind of dissapointed and didn't want to really engage anymore

That is interesting. I would have expected that some good looking guy from out of town would be fresh meat and everyone would be lining up. I guess that goes to show that even we aren't exempt from getting caught up in the gay stereotypes perpetrated in our society.

Once, when talking to my wife, she brought up the gay lifestyle being one of promiscuous sex. I agreed that is certainly the view that is depicted by Hollywood with shows like "Will & Grace". I then asked "but, how is that any different than the heterosexual lifestyle - as depicted by Hollywood?"

6:06 AM  
Blogger Abelard Enigma said...

there's actually a lot more to tell


6:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

evidence is clear that gays are more likely to be promiscuous than straights--all the more reason for gay marriage to provide another option!

7:30 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I went to San Francisco for a long weekend a year or so ago, and it was so exciting for me. I hung out with a long lost friend who is also gay, and for the first time in my life I truly enjoyed the company of other gay people. The Castro can be so outrageous, but it felt like an oasis.

3:11 PM  

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