E L B O W
Elbow: Simple and Easy

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Simple and Easy

It's scary to feel good. I think that we are terrified to feel overjoyed and to feel what it is like to be unconditionally loved. And because it's scary and because there is a lot of responsibility that comes with such intense happiness, we trick ourselves into thinking that struggling through life is safe. Most human beings are addicted to struggle and drama which causes us to sabotage our spirit's efforts to help us make our lives simple.

Christ already told us that he's taken our burdens so they will be light. I don't think that God has ever said to us that we could not become whole in this lifetime. I am gay and being gay doesn't mean that I'm not normal. Being gay doesn't mean that I'm any less than a straight man or woman. Christ has told us that "when he shall appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may be purified even as he is pure."

So why do we think that our lives are a big check list? We get to the mission and want to check it off the list, we wait for marriage so we can check it off the list, But we don't have to wait to check off a list to be our god-self, or our I-am-perfect-just-as-God-created-me self. We are whole in this moment, we've just forgotten.

It is my belief that we don't have to go through pain in order to learn lessons and that we do not have to walk through fire in order to be cleansed. We don't have to live our lives feeling guilty and inadequate. I use to feel like I had to marry a woman in order to stand blameless before God or that I wasn't a good person if people knew I was gay. But now I know that hardships and struggles aren't the only way to fulfill the measure of our creations.

In the Church we hear about trials as if they are the ticket to learning. And people speak of "struggles" like masochistic tendencies are the resources we need in order to live the gospel correctly. We are taught that the pain that comes from challenges is the refiners fire, or the sanctification through intense suffering.

But if there is a lesson we need to learn then we can either choose to learn it through struggle and pain or simple and easy.

When we can admit to ourselves that we deserve to have our spirits learn through easy and simple ways, what we do will be easy and simple. We will be able to look at our lives and see that we've made our path and relationships harder than they need to be.

It is time to simplify our lives and to move into the intention that life can be an experience of learning through joy instead of pain, and that we can live in a gay relationship and and still serve God in humility and be Christ-like.

4 Comments:

Blogger Scot said...

I’ve not much to add but I’m just so happy, after being away, to come back and read how well you’re doing. I was also glad to read how well your time with your friend went and regret we were out of town.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Willie said...

I found you here from Family Blend, it's great to see you so happy.

I spent a few years in LDS reparative therapy with some married men. I could tell that the only complete happiness the couples would feel is if they became true to themselves and set themselves free.

Good for you, and your ex-wife.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Mike Kessler said...

Wow, I haven't checked your blog in a few months, and so much has changed. I'm not happy that you're divorced, but I am glad that you and your wife are moving forward. I pray that you receive much strength, courage and love for the journey that lies ahead, my friend.

9:50 AM  
Blogger by a thread said...

Thank you for letting me read your blog. I am learning some things here that I am grateful to you for. Be well!

12:31 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home