Elbow: I'm So Blessed

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I'm So Blessed

Last night when I couldn't sleep and I kept thinking about the phone calls that I had made yesterday to friends who were in the dark about our situation. It was hard talking to them and explaining what my wife and I were going through, and then it was even harder telling them why.

If me and my wife getting a divorce wasn't shocking enough, me coming out of the closet in the same phone call was even more of a jarring astonishment. But truthfully, the friends that I had chosen to call and speak with about this matter already knew my situation. I mean when I came out to them in college it was a huge shock that I was gay because no one suspected it of me, but after being married for three years, they forgot that I was gay and just assumed that I was "dealing with it."

I guess I was "dealing with it" in my own way. And here I am today writing about it. And now my close friends know that my wife and I are getting a divorce, and they know that it's because I'm gay. I feel good knowing that they have a clear picture of what's going on, but it's just so definite now.

And so I had a big day yesterday talking to the close friends that I have and who have been trying to get a hold of us, but just couldn't get us to pick up the phone, and now they know why. I've felt so blessed because so many people have been understanding. I had a friend even ask if she needed to book a flight just so she could take care of me. I look to the Lord and thank Him profusely. I have so many amazing friends who love me and my wife so much and they have been so good to us and have offered true support and compassion for us.

And then there's my wife. She's worth more than gold and the truest treasure I've ever possessed. She makes me sing and she makes me shout praises to God for the support and the encouragement she has given me. I look at her and I'm overwhelmed with the strength she has given me. Here she is, grieving the loss of her husband, grieving a divorce and feeling so hurt because of what has happened to our marriage, and yet she has been so good to me.

She called today to tell me that the accounts were now separated and that she opened up her own account. She left me more money than she had taken for herself, and she didn't it with such love and compassion.

I thank the Lord once again for what is going on in my life. It seems incredible. It seems unbelievable that I have come so far and had suffered so much because of what my marriage brought to me and my wife. And yet were both smiling and both thankful for what we have been given. This is the most happy divorce I've ever witnessed. We are both sad for what we have lost, but so blessed for what we have been able to do for each other. We've given each other honesty and support, and a chance at living life to it's fullest.

Today was another good day, and it feels so good.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i really hope the best for both of you. it's hard to knock anything that comes out of honesty and self-awareness

10:35 AM  

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