My feelings can best be described by the photo to your left. The doctors appointments, the surgery, the recovery etc... has all been exhausting. I emotionally have given up, on my marriage, and on the gospel. I don't care if it's true or not. I don't care if I love my wife.
I'm flying to Canada to stay with my parents over the summer. My doctors have given me the go ahead to fly. My fight leaves in a couple of days. I quit my job because of my spinal cord fiasco, and since I'm off school till' September I thought it would be a good time to get away.
My wife isn't coming with me. We're separating. No definitive answer about divorce, but where separated as of a couple of days ago. Neither of us are happy about it. I am more drained than anything. I've been scared to death that I'm going to die, that I'm not going to walk again. I've been exhausted spiritually by trying to find meaning in prayer. I'm feeling a lot of desire to get away, and while my parents house isn't the best place to do that, I have no where else to go. But if there's anything that I feel might be beneficial, it's getting away from NY and from my wife, and just getting in touch with what my heart is trying to tell me.